NCAA Football 09 (Xbox 360)

God how I love college football. Nothing makes me happier than watching my Longhorns devastate teams they really have no business playing. So each year, around this time, I get all happy in the pants and pick up the newest NCAA football game from EA. Much like Madden, it has its own enjoyment and fan following. In recent years, NCAA has come into its own, no longer the little brother to the giant Madden franchise. Which is why, in its third year (really the second year) I am once again vastly unimpressed.

A few years back, 07 version I think, NCAA was reaching its highest level of awesome on the Xbox. The campus legend mode was fully fleshed out and felt like you were playing on a college football team. While the dynasty mode was not nearly as flushed out as it is now, it was still enjoyable enough for those who liked to play it. Then came the direct port to the 360 and its epic failing. It was a waste, much like most direct ports to the 360 after it came out.


I was hoping, after two years on the 360, that EA had finally figured out how to make another NCAA game such as the one before the porting over to the 360. You see, EA seems to have dropped the ball on one particular aspect of the NCAA franchise. My favorite aspect of the series, one that I think most people who have played the franchise for many years also enjoy. The campus legend mode. Last year it was lacking and it is once again this year. Sure, its pretty and the high school games are interesting and a fun way to gauge how talented your character will be in college. Yea, I suppose that the balance to keep your players schooling and football skills even. Thats about where the interesting stops. Once again, you are left with no announcing during the games, no choice over what plays are called if you are not the QB or any way to keep your D from stopping the opposing team from that scoring drive that blows the game for you. After a few games of watching your D get blown out by some crap team, your QB making retarded pass after retarded pass and your coach calling the most stupid plays, you are ready to put down the controller and say "fuck it". For me, this is the most frustrating part of the game. Campus legend was once my favorite part of NCAA, now the franchise has lost almost all of its appeal. The dull, uninspired and lack luster legend mode makes me want to return the game.

Anyway, moving on. For those who enjoy the dynasty mode, you are in for a treat. Apparently, a lot of you have been asking for the dynasty mode to be online and now it is. Which is wonderful for those of you who know enough people to play it. The single player aspect of dynasty is also well done, making it easy to track the players you seek to recruit, easy to find out what points to hit on to talk them into coming to your school. During the season, you are able to play every game and have control of every position. Its a different and interesting aspect of NCAA I have never fully explored, though I will be since I can't take any more of the silent campus legend mode.

Quick play is also enjoyable, giving you the full control and all the bells and whistles you expect from a college football game. Mascots dancing, cheerleaders, flag carriers and the whole bit. Really not much else to say about that part.

So, I suppose my only true problem is the campus legend mode. There is no reason that I can see why there is no announcing, cheerleaders or any of the little aspects of the dynasty/quick play modes. I can understand the inability for you to call plays, control the defense or change plays while not being the QB but fuck it all, I can't understand why there is no announcing and even LESS of a college atmosphere than in other modes. I can't, again, think of why EA took out the dorm room, the campus popularity or any of the aspects that were in the Xbox versions that made it feel more college like. I honestly can't fucking stand that EA took those parts out. I mean fuck. Not even the ESPNU announcers for the games? Fuck.

Now, if you don't mind the quiet and uninspired legend mode, there is a lot for any college football fan to enjoy. If you enjoy running a college team, plenty for you here and if you know others who like doing the same thing, well rock and roll for you. NCAA 09 will give you all you want and more.

Age of Conan - Updated Review

First part of my review was during the newbie area. In most games, each race has its own starting area with its own quests and story. In AoC there is one area where every player goes and the story is pretty much exactly the same. There is one really interesting aspect of the newbie area that is different than anything else I have seen thus far. There is single player aspect that only occurs at night. Its instanced so no other players are involved and you find your destiny and who you were. This is a very interesting way of being able to exit the starting area, teach you the game and so forth. Every NPC you interact with is voice acted pretty well and the quests are decent. Granted, there are lots of fetch quests and you get sick of the questing areas fairly quickly. It would make more sense for the questing areas to be instanced like the single player quests since some of them are fairly small and its tough to complete the quests during prime play times. It does take some time and you will be around 20 at the end of the newbie area.

Once you exit the newbie area, you are taken to tne home city of your race and are kind of left to your own devices. There is a related quest for you to follow but you are basically left alone in a big city to do what ever you want to do. Its here where the game, which showed a lot of polish and was well done, it starts to fall apart. The NPCs loses a lot of the polish the starting area had, the voice acting is gone and replaced by grunts and noises. The run and fetch quests are still there and there does not seem to be any path for you to follow. This is different from every other game where you are guided by the hand through various areas. AoC does not follow this and I find it annoying.

There are still aspects to the game I have not seen, but its all PvP related from what I read. I honestly can't say that I am going to stick around playing the game much longer. PvP is fun and all but there is nothing stopping more powerful players from slaughtering the weaker ones. AoC is as violent and unforgiving as the novels were but you have a slew of fuckers to ruin for everyone. A lot of people will really enjoy this game, of that I have no doubt. If the game is as balanced between PvP and PvE as WoW, it should be fine.

Its just not for me. I will give it a little longer, still have two weeks before my 30 days runs out but after that, unless this game really kicks me in the face with awesome, I'm out. Which is a let down as I really enjoyed the starting area.

Spore! - Preview

Oh Will Wright. How I love you. You gave us SimCity and The Sims, a way for us to play God and not feel bad about it. You were not satisfied with just a city or a house, no! You wanted to give us an entire world from the ground up, thus you have created Spore! Man am I excited about this.

Much like W.W's previous games, Spore lets you play God, only deeper and more complex. Instead of creating a city, or a family, you now have the ability to create your own creature. Anything your mind and imagine. Just for a little taste, check this out. That is a little preview of the creature creator program, which looks just bad ass. Not only does this program let you create your creature, you are able to do anything you can imagine and are willing to spend the time on. The best part? W.W. is releasing the creature creator on June 17th, only a few weeks away. That gives us gamers a few months to mess around and get our creatures just right before jumping into the game.

The preview video does state that the creatures you create in the months before release will be capable of being used in Spore. Even cooler is you can take screen shots and video of your creatures and upload them to YouTube or email pictures to your friends. I can just see the flood of various creatures, monsters and so forth that are popular being created and uploaded long before the game is released. I'm sure guides on how to make said popular creatures will be released as well.

So Spore looks awesome and I've been waiting for this game for a long time. Its just around the corner, but we do get a little oasis of goodness in the creature creator to get us through the game drought of 08.

Age of Conan: A mini-review

Look at me following through so quickly. Nice new banner, not made by me, and a mini-review!

So, I think its safe to say that I have come to dislike MMOs in general. WoW was great, EQ was great but since then, all have fallen short and I can't get back into them. LotRO was nice, is nice, but I don't have the heart to grind out to max level and start again, or deal with other things.

Age of Conan is the newest MMO to come out and has a lot of hype behind it. Some say its better than WoW, or at least equal to it. So after sitting through the rather long install and a longer patch, I fired up an Assassin and went to work. Combat is different and probably takes a lot of getting used to. Instead of auto-attack, you select where you attack your enemies. Left, Right or Center. There are white arrows that show where the enemies defense is the strongest, which is helpful since you want to place your attacks where there is none. Its confusing at first but you can get used to it. Instead of special attacks, there are combos. Hit the combo button, the correct attack direction and bamo! Spiffy attack. Its interesting and may get better after more time with it but thus far, I prefer the auto attack for normal attacks and special attacks on timers.

The graphics are good on my rig, though I do not meet the "recommended" specs. Your character is a little to shiny for me, though it may get better with a better system. At the early stages, like EVERY OTHER FRIGGIN MMO OUT THERE, you look like a homeless person and not a would-be-hero. Again, this may change but I doubt it. More of a personal pet peeve of mine. Still, combat animations are smooth and the world looks good. Sounds are well done and the voice acting, which I think only EQ 2 has really done for every quest, is solid.

There are different servers, PvP, PvE and RP. You would expect that servers would be just what they claim to be but after going to the first area outside of the starting city, I was promptly ganked by someone 10 levels higher than me, while he was in combat. Fun? Not fucking really. I hate PvP when I don't expect it. If I want PvP, I go to it. Main reason I stay the fuck off PvP servers, because being ganked is fucking annoying. I don't expect to log into a RP server and get ganked by some PvP jack ass. Now, in the manual it does say that RP servers are RP/PVP but it does not say that on the server list. Fucking stupid. Which means, my un-happy ass has to start the newbie area all over again because I refuse to play with people who enjoy ganking each other.

Anyway. There you go. Some good things, some bad. If things don't get better, I can't see my self becoming attached to this game past my free 30 days. Again, though, that can change.

Coming Soon!

Alright, since I kind of want to take this thing seriously, I have decided to start a "Coming Soon!" feature. In it, I will list games that I will be reviewing, previewing or retrospectively reviewing over the coming week or so. Since things are slowing down in the gaming world, I figure its a good time for me to review older games I used to play or never play. So lets get it on!

Coming Soon Reviews!

1. Age of Conan - I know I said that MMOs no longer hold any interest for me, but lets be honest. The great summer drought of 08 is upon us and I won't have much new stuff to review, much less play.

2. Condemned: Criminal Origins - I have always been interested in picking this title up and with its sequel out and grabbing my attention, I figure I should start here.

3. Galactic Civilizations II: Twilight of the Arnor - As I have stated before, GalCiv is a great series and this most recent expansion looks to expand the awesome even further.

Previews -

Nothing right now, since there aint jack shit coming any time soon. The top three should provide me with enough gaming goodness for some time. Though I may toss up a MSG:4 review since I am considering a PS3 just for that, and for all my old favorites from the PS2.

Retrospectives -

1. Galactic Civilizations II: Original and Dark Avatar expansion - I keep talking about it, might as well review it.

2. Master of Magic - The sexiest RTS/TBS game ever, far as I am concerned. 100% sure it won't run on my PC anymore but its worth a shot.


Cool new stuff to the site-

1. Actual art for the page. Maybe a real banner, a backround? Who knows. I expect to have one boring summer

2. Screen shots of PC games. I will try to take screen shots of any PC games I review and put them into my reviews, kind of like Gamespot. Should help give you folks an idea of what the game looks like on my modest rig. I may track down screenies for console games from the net and put them up as well.



So there ya go. Its a lot of stuff planned for a blog that only a few folks read but I hope to increase that number at some point. So tell your friends! Tell your family! Tell your coworkers! Tell your guild mates! Just know any shitty comments about how bad I am will be deleted.

The vast desert that is this time of the year

Dear Lord do I hate this time of year. Well, as far as video games and television are concerned. It is like some vast desert of emptiness with only a few oasis's to get you through it, and are those oasis's few and far between. For every great game that comes out, there are ten that blow. I have spent the last few minutes looking back on Gamespot.com for new releases that may tide me over till something great comes out and woe be to me! That list is short. I have considered Condemded 2 but I never played the first. With my lack of consoles to give me variety (thanks to a poor purchase of my tv two years ago), I am left looking at the PC or my 360 and nothing has jumped out at me.

Galactic Civilizations II has its second expansion pack come out back in April, which I missed but it does hold interest for me. GalCiv is an awesome series I highly suggest every one check out. Age of Conan hit stores yesterday but I can not bring myself to get another MMO after falling off the LotRO wagon and not caring to get back on. MMOs are so dull and repetitive. Though AoC looks cool, and some sites I like to visit recommend it, MMOs just can't hold my interest any more.

Movies are another thing, which considering the sexy that has come out in the last 6 weeks and what is looming ahead of us, I can't really bitch about. Its summer blockbuster time and that makes for good movies, or at least entertaining ones. But! This is not for movies, but for video games. I have myself a new movie review blog so I don't bore you poor bastards with movie talk.

Back on point. Where are the good games at? I mean seriously game industry. Its not like you don't know how to make good games, but you release them like meals to a starving person. We get them only when we need them, just before we die off. Only its stretches of months, not a week or two before we starve to death. GTA IV is a fine game that I am sure lots of people are still enjoying but my entertainment value from it is done. I just want something GOOD to come out about once a month. There are so many game companies out there, it shouldn't be to fucking hard. Yet it is.

Man I hate these months of waiting.

Also, for the few of you who do read this site, comments have been opened up to everyone. I didnt realize that it was limited to those with a blogger account.

10 reasons why GTA IV sucks (written by Chris Jensen)

10 Things That Suck About Grand Theft Auto IV
Posted by Chris Jensen | May. 09, 2008 11:11AM PST | 65684 views | 10 comments

FILED UNDER: Features, Opinion. Games.



With game reviewers still mopping up their collective ejaculate, you'd think GTA IV was the greatest game of all time. The amount of hyperbole showered on Rockstar's game was unparalleled, with nearly every critic unleashing a string of adjectives that cast GTA IV as the second coming of video gaming Christ. Once the initial euphoria of the graphics wears off, you soon realize that GTA IV doesn't evolve its inherent gameplay beyond that which has come before, and in a lot of respects, significantly less.

With a Metacritic score of 99%, one might think it impossible to find any faults with a game that has been equated with everything from Citizen Kane to The Godfather. Wrong.

1. Money Has No Value

This is my biggest beef with GTA IV: money has little value. You go on a hundred missions to earn cash...for what? More ammo? A new pair of shoes? I have $750,000 in my bank account and I live in a shit-hole. All the clothes I can buy were purchased in the early stages of the game. So what am I supposed to do with all this money? This is the American Dream? Where did the option to purchase real-estate go? The whole game is based on making money but the designers forgot one key element: you need something to spend money on, else your money is worthless. $5 hamburgers and an optional freeway toll just don't amount to very much.

2. Multiplayer

Multiplayer in a GTA game is nothing new if you've played previous PC versions and downloaded certain mods, but this is the first time it's been officially included by Rockstar, so you'd think they'd do it right. Instead, multiplayer feels like an afterthought, sporting a level-up system that takes forever to advance in ranks, all so you can unlock a few items of clothing.

The Lobby system can take ages for a game to start, usually because all the stoners in the room forget to click Ready, or worse, bitch and moan about a specific game setting that usually leads to mutiny.

There's no shortage of multiplayer game modes, which is great in theory, but I'd gladly take two well-balanced game modes over a multitude of half-assed, poorly designed ideas that find the majority of players running around maps searching for a freaking car. It's called Grand Theft Auto, not Grand Theft Pedestrian.

A lot of the problems could easily be addressed by a Host who doesn't have his head up his ass, but most toggle settings that are detrimental to fun, usually forcing the majority of players to abandon a round in mid-stride out of sheer boredom. What GTA IV really needs are maps created specifically for multiplayer, something we'll undoubtedly be paying for in future DLC.

3. Ponderous Story

A lot of reviewers keep harping on the stellar, amazing, and unparalleled story, which makes me wonder if any of these guys actually watch movies or read books. The tale of Niko is nothing original, evidenced by hundreds of movies from the era of film noir, but what sets this apart from its cinematic cousins is the sheer ponderousness of the story. This is a plot that barely moves and keeps repeating itself over and over. As a character, Niko doesn't evolve and his actions have little impact on the game world, save for the ending, which is as empty as everything that preceded it.

The writers of GTA IV make a rookie mistake: they tell me, they don't show me. Telling me Niko is searching for his moral compass is of no use, especially when none of the elements manifest in terms of gameplay, save for a few rudimentary decisions that are no more than, "Kill Mr. X or Kill Mr. Y."

4. No Upwards Mobility

The majority of critics claim that GTA IV is about the American Dream, an ethereal concept that means something different for everyone. In the universe of GTA, the American Dream apparently entails moving from one pigsty apartment to another pigsty apartment, albeit in a slightly better part of town. There is zero sense of social advancement or self-sufficiency, and all the way till the end of the game you find yourself working as nothing more than slave-labor for those who are enjoying the American Dream.

5. A Step Back From Previous Versions

While the graphics engine is an amazing achievement and deserving of the highest praise, every other aspect of GTA IV has devolved. It's as if the designers put 95% of their effort into creating a believable environment and used the last 5% for gameplay. Instead of mini-games involving taxi fares, ice-cream trucks, pizza delivery, ambulance driving, fire-fighting, territorial control, managing a gang...you get a boring round of pool, bowling and darts.

6. Wonky Cover System

It's great that GTA IV now has a cover system. It's not so great that it makes me want to punch my Xbox in the face. God forbid you attempt the cover system near several objects as you never know where you'll get attached. I've lost track of how many times I've been in cover mode, only to have the game refuse to fire my weapon for some inexplicable reason, forcing me to uncover and recover. It's annoying, frustrating and lacks polish.

7. Dopey Mini-Games

Billiards, bowling and darts, eh? Three boring mini-games that have little to no impact on anything. You can't even bet an opponent for some cash, which I guess doesn't matter because money has no value anyway. The designers could have exercised a little creativity by developing a little pick-up basketball game at the park, or skeet shooting, or dirt-bike racing. Hell, I'll take a little Frisbee tossing or miniature golf. Something original, for Pete's sake.

8. Relationships Are Idiotic

One new aspect to GTA is the concept of relationships. Unfortunately, it's rudimentary at best, bordering on sublimely retarded. All you have to do is call someone on your phone, pick them up, and head wherever you need to go. Once there, you do nothing that has any impact. As long as you don't total your car or inadvertently shoot your date in the face, they all seem to love you. In the end, relationships in GTA stand as a concept that was never developed. The designers should have taken some notes from The Sims and offered the player tangible options based on the environment the characters find themselves in.

9. Clothing Interface

I made a terrible mistake in the early part of the game: I purchased every bit of clothing I could find. I didn't realize that the clothing interface, which hasn't changed from previous versions, would continue to be a monumental example of crappy design. There is no organization to the clothes, no quick way to select a suit or casual attire, forcing the player to view every single item one-by-one, an act that redefines tedium and borders on torture.

10. Phantom Traffic

I don't know what else to call this, so I'm sticking with Phantom Traffic. Phantom Traffic has been around ever since GTA went 3D and it continues to bug the hell out of me. What is it? It's when you look down a stretch of road and don't see any cars. You turn around, look down another stretch, and still don't see any cars. So you turn back to your original viewpoint and suddenly there's a freaking traffic-jam, cars everywhere. I was hoping the next-gen version of GTA would expand the distance cars appear, but such is not the case. Ultimately, this means it's pointless to look around and see if any cops are around before stealing a car, as the second you turn your attention to the window, you have no idea what has suddenly materialized behind you.

The man has valid points all over the place. After finishing the main story of the game, there is little point to keep playing the game.