Age of Conan - Updated Review

First part of my review was during the newbie area. In most games, each race has its own starting area with its own quests and story. In AoC there is one area where every player goes and the story is pretty much exactly the same. There is one really interesting aspect of the newbie area that is different than anything else I have seen thus far. There is single player aspect that only occurs at night. Its instanced so no other players are involved and you find your destiny and who you were. This is a very interesting way of being able to exit the starting area, teach you the game and so forth. Every NPC you interact with is voice acted pretty well and the quests are decent. Granted, there are lots of fetch quests and you get sick of the questing areas fairly quickly. It would make more sense for the questing areas to be instanced like the single player quests since some of them are fairly small and its tough to complete the quests during prime play times. It does take some time and you will be around 20 at the end of the newbie area.

Once you exit the newbie area, you are taken to tne home city of your race and are kind of left to your own devices. There is a related quest for you to follow but you are basically left alone in a big city to do what ever you want to do. Its here where the game, which showed a lot of polish and was well done, it starts to fall apart. The NPCs loses a lot of the polish the starting area had, the voice acting is gone and replaced by grunts and noises. The run and fetch quests are still there and there does not seem to be any path for you to follow. This is different from every other game where you are guided by the hand through various areas. AoC does not follow this and I find it annoying.

There are still aspects to the game I have not seen, but its all PvP related from what I read. I honestly can't say that I am going to stick around playing the game much longer. PvP is fun and all but there is nothing stopping more powerful players from slaughtering the weaker ones. AoC is as violent and unforgiving as the novels were but you have a slew of fuckers to ruin for everyone. A lot of people will really enjoy this game, of that I have no doubt. If the game is as balanced between PvP and PvE as WoW, it should be fine.

Its just not for me. I will give it a little longer, still have two weeks before my 30 days runs out but after that, unless this game really kicks me in the face with awesome, I'm out. Which is a let down as I really enjoyed the starting area.

Spore! - Preview

Oh Will Wright. How I love you. You gave us SimCity and The Sims, a way for us to play God and not feel bad about it. You were not satisfied with just a city or a house, no! You wanted to give us an entire world from the ground up, thus you have created Spore! Man am I excited about this.

Much like W.W's previous games, Spore lets you play God, only deeper and more complex. Instead of creating a city, or a family, you now have the ability to create your own creature. Anything your mind and imagine. Just for a little taste, check this out. That is a little preview of the creature creator program, which looks just bad ass. Not only does this program let you create your creature, you are able to do anything you can imagine and are willing to spend the time on. The best part? W.W. is releasing the creature creator on June 17th, only a few weeks away. That gives us gamers a few months to mess around and get our creatures just right before jumping into the game.

The preview video does state that the creatures you create in the months before release will be capable of being used in Spore. Even cooler is you can take screen shots and video of your creatures and upload them to YouTube or email pictures to your friends. I can just see the flood of various creatures, monsters and so forth that are popular being created and uploaded long before the game is released. I'm sure guides on how to make said popular creatures will be released as well.

So Spore looks awesome and I've been waiting for this game for a long time. Its just around the corner, but we do get a little oasis of goodness in the creature creator to get us through the game drought of 08.

Age of Conan: A mini-review

Look at me following through so quickly. Nice new banner, not made by me, and a mini-review!

So, I think its safe to say that I have come to dislike MMOs in general. WoW was great, EQ was great but since then, all have fallen short and I can't get back into them. LotRO was nice, is nice, but I don't have the heart to grind out to max level and start again, or deal with other things.

Age of Conan is the newest MMO to come out and has a lot of hype behind it. Some say its better than WoW, or at least equal to it. So after sitting through the rather long install and a longer patch, I fired up an Assassin and went to work. Combat is different and probably takes a lot of getting used to. Instead of auto-attack, you select where you attack your enemies. Left, Right or Center. There are white arrows that show where the enemies defense is the strongest, which is helpful since you want to place your attacks where there is none. Its confusing at first but you can get used to it. Instead of special attacks, there are combos. Hit the combo button, the correct attack direction and bamo! Spiffy attack. Its interesting and may get better after more time with it but thus far, I prefer the auto attack for normal attacks and special attacks on timers.

The graphics are good on my rig, though I do not meet the "recommended" specs. Your character is a little to shiny for me, though it may get better with a better system. At the early stages, like EVERY OTHER FRIGGIN MMO OUT THERE, you look like a homeless person and not a would-be-hero. Again, this may change but I doubt it. More of a personal pet peeve of mine. Still, combat animations are smooth and the world looks good. Sounds are well done and the voice acting, which I think only EQ 2 has really done for every quest, is solid.

There are different servers, PvP, PvE and RP. You would expect that servers would be just what they claim to be but after going to the first area outside of the starting city, I was promptly ganked by someone 10 levels higher than me, while he was in combat. Fun? Not fucking really. I hate PvP when I don't expect it. If I want PvP, I go to it. Main reason I stay the fuck off PvP servers, because being ganked is fucking annoying. I don't expect to log into a RP server and get ganked by some PvP jack ass. Now, in the manual it does say that RP servers are RP/PVP but it does not say that on the server list. Fucking stupid. Which means, my un-happy ass has to start the newbie area all over again because I refuse to play with people who enjoy ganking each other.

Anyway. There you go. Some good things, some bad. If things don't get better, I can't see my self becoming attached to this game past my free 30 days. Again, though, that can change.

Coming Soon!

Alright, since I kind of want to take this thing seriously, I have decided to start a "Coming Soon!" feature. In it, I will list games that I will be reviewing, previewing or retrospectively reviewing over the coming week or so. Since things are slowing down in the gaming world, I figure its a good time for me to review older games I used to play or never play. So lets get it on!

Coming Soon Reviews!

1. Age of Conan - I know I said that MMOs no longer hold any interest for me, but lets be honest. The great summer drought of 08 is upon us and I won't have much new stuff to review, much less play.

2. Condemned: Criminal Origins - I have always been interested in picking this title up and with its sequel out and grabbing my attention, I figure I should start here.

3. Galactic Civilizations II: Twilight of the Arnor - As I have stated before, GalCiv is a great series and this most recent expansion looks to expand the awesome even further.

Previews -

Nothing right now, since there aint jack shit coming any time soon. The top three should provide me with enough gaming goodness for some time. Though I may toss up a MSG:4 review since I am considering a PS3 just for that, and for all my old favorites from the PS2.

Retrospectives -

1. Galactic Civilizations II: Original and Dark Avatar expansion - I keep talking about it, might as well review it.

2. Master of Magic - The sexiest RTS/TBS game ever, far as I am concerned. 100% sure it won't run on my PC anymore but its worth a shot.


Cool new stuff to the site-

1. Actual art for the page. Maybe a real banner, a backround? Who knows. I expect to have one boring summer

2. Screen shots of PC games. I will try to take screen shots of any PC games I review and put them into my reviews, kind of like Gamespot. Should help give you folks an idea of what the game looks like on my modest rig. I may track down screenies for console games from the net and put them up as well.



So there ya go. Its a lot of stuff planned for a blog that only a few folks read but I hope to increase that number at some point. So tell your friends! Tell your family! Tell your coworkers! Tell your guild mates! Just know any shitty comments about how bad I am will be deleted.

The vast desert that is this time of the year

Dear Lord do I hate this time of year. Well, as far as video games and television are concerned. It is like some vast desert of emptiness with only a few oasis's to get you through it, and are those oasis's few and far between. For every great game that comes out, there are ten that blow. I have spent the last few minutes looking back on Gamespot.com for new releases that may tide me over till something great comes out and woe be to me! That list is short. I have considered Condemded 2 but I never played the first. With my lack of consoles to give me variety (thanks to a poor purchase of my tv two years ago), I am left looking at the PC or my 360 and nothing has jumped out at me.

Galactic Civilizations II has its second expansion pack come out back in April, which I missed but it does hold interest for me. GalCiv is an awesome series I highly suggest every one check out. Age of Conan hit stores yesterday but I can not bring myself to get another MMO after falling off the LotRO wagon and not caring to get back on. MMOs are so dull and repetitive. Though AoC looks cool, and some sites I like to visit recommend it, MMOs just can't hold my interest any more.

Movies are another thing, which considering the sexy that has come out in the last 6 weeks and what is looming ahead of us, I can't really bitch about. Its summer blockbuster time and that makes for good movies, or at least entertaining ones. But! This is not for movies, but for video games. I have myself a new movie review blog so I don't bore you poor bastards with movie talk.

Back on point. Where are the good games at? I mean seriously game industry. Its not like you don't know how to make good games, but you release them like meals to a starving person. We get them only when we need them, just before we die off. Only its stretches of months, not a week or two before we starve to death. GTA IV is a fine game that I am sure lots of people are still enjoying but my entertainment value from it is done. I just want something GOOD to come out about once a month. There are so many game companies out there, it shouldn't be to fucking hard. Yet it is.

Man I hate these months of waiting.

Also, for the few of you who do read this site, comments have been opened up to everyone. I didnt realize that it was limited to those with a blogger account.

10 reasons why GTA IV sucks (written by Chris Jensen)

10 Things That Suck About Grand Theft Auto IV
Posted by Chris Jensen | May. 09, 2008 11:11AM PST | 65684 views | 10 comments

FILED UNDER: Features, Opinion. Games.



With game reviewers still mopping up their collective ejaculate, you'd think GTA IV was the greatest game of all time. The amount of hyperbole showered on Rockstar's game was unparalleled, with nearly every critic unleashing a string of adjectives that cast GTA IV as the second coming of video gaming Christ. Once the initial euphoria of the graphics wears off, you soon realize that GTA IV doesn't evolve its inherent gameplay beyond that which has come before, and in a lot of respects, significantly less.

With a Metacritic score of 99%, one might think it impossible to find any faults with a game that has been equated with everything from Citizen Kane to The Godfather. Wrong.

1. Money Has No Value

This is my biggest beef with GTA IV: money has little value. You go on a hundred missions to earn cash...for what? More ammo? A new pair of shoes? I have $750,000 in my bank account and I live in a shit-hole. All the clothes I can buy were purchased in the early stages of the game. So what am I supposed to do with all this money? This is the American Dream? Where did the option to purchase real-estate go? The whole game is based on making money but the designers forgot one key element: you need something to spend money on, else your money is worthless. $5 hamburgers and an optional freeway toll just don't amount to very much.

2. Multiplayer

Multiplayer in a GTA game is nothing new if you've played previous PC versions and downloaded certain mods, but this is the first time it's been officially included by Rockstar, so you'd think they'd do it right. Instead, multiplayer feels like an afterthought, sporting a level-up system that takes forever to advance in ranks, all so you can unlock a few items of clothing.

The Lobby system can take ages for a game to start, usually because all the stoners in the room forget to click Ready, or worse, bitch and moan about a specific game setting that usually leads to mutiny.

There's no shortage of multiplayer game modes, which is great in theory, but I'd gladly take two well-balanced game modes over a multitude of half-assed, poorly designed ideas that find the majority of players running around maps searching for a freaking car. It's called Grand Theft Auto, not Grand Theft Pedestrian.

A lot of the problems could easily be addressed by a Host who doesn't have his head up his ass, but most toggle settings that are detrimental to fun, usually forcing the majority of players to abandon a round in mid-stride out of sheer boredom. What GTA IV really needs are maps created specifically for multiplayer, something we'll undoubtedly be paying for in future DLC.

3. Ponderous Story

A lot of reviewers keep harping on the stellar, amazing, and unparalleled story, which makes me wonder if any of these guys actually watch movies or read books. The tale of Niko is nothing original, evidenced by hundreds of movies from the era of film noir, but what sets this apart from its cinematic cousins is the sheer ponderousness of the story. This is a plot that barely moves and keeps repeating itself over and over. As a character, Niko doesn't evolve and his actions have little impact on the game world, save for the ending, which is as empty as everything that preceded it.

The writers of GTA IV make a rookie mistake: they tell me, they don't show me. Telling me Niko is searching for his moral compass is of no use, especially when none of the elements manifest in terms of gameplay, save for a few rudimentary decisions that are no more than, "Kill Mr. X or Kill Mr. Y."

4. No Upwards Mobility

The majority of critics claim that GTA IV is about the American Dream, an ethereal concept that means something different for everyone. In the universe of GTA, the American Dream apparently entails moving from one pigsty apartment to another pigsty apartment, albeit in a slightly better part of town. There is zero sense of social advancement or self-sufficiency, and all the way till the end of the game you find yourself working as nothing more than slave-labor for those who are enjoying the American Dream.

5. A Step Back From Previous Versions

While the graphics engine is an amazing achievement and deserving of the highest praise, every other aspect of GTA IV has devolved. It's as if the designers put 95% of their effort into creating a believable environment and used the last 5% for gameplay. Instead of mini-games involving taxi fares, ice-cream trucks, pizza delivery, ambulance driving, fire-fighting, territorial control, managing a gang...you get a boring round of pool, bowling and darts.

6. Wonky Cover System

It's great that GTA IV now has a cover system. It's not so great that it makes me want to punch my Xbox in the face. God forbid you attempt the cover system near several objects as you never know where you'll get attached. I've lost track of how many times I've been in cover mode, only to have the game refuse to fire my weapon for some inexplicable reason, forcing me to uncover and recover. It's annoying, frustrating and lacks polish.

7. Dopey Mini-Games

Billiards, bowling and darts, eh? Three boring mini-games that have little to no impact on anything. You can't even bet an opponent for some cash, which I guess doesn't matter because money has no value anyway. The designers could have exercised a little creativity by developing a little pick-up basketball game at the park, or skeet shooting, or dirt-bike racing. Hell, I'll take a little Frisbee tossing or miniature golf. Something original, for Pete's sake.

8. Relationships Are Idiotic

One new aspect to GTA is the concept of relationships. Unfortunately, it's rudimentary at best, bordering on sublimely retarded. All you have to do is call someone on your phone, pick them up, and head wherever you need to go. Once there, you do nothing that has any impact. As long as you don't total your car or inadvertently shoot your date in the face, they all seem to love you. In the end, relationships in GTA stand as a concept that was never developed. The designers should have taken some notes from The Sims and offered the player tangible options based on the environment the characters find themselves in.

9. Clothing Interface

I made a terrible mistake in the early part of the game: I purchased every bit of clothing I could find. I didn't realize that the clothing interface, which hasn't changed from previous versions, would continue to be a monumental example of crappy design. There is no organization to the clothes, no quick way to select a suit or casual attire, forcing the player to view every single item one-by-one, an act that redefines tedium and borders on torture.

10. Phantom Traffic

I don't know what else to call this, so I'm sticking with Phantom Traffic. Phantom Traffic has been around ever since GTA went 3D and it continues to bug the hell out of me. What is it? It's when you look down a stretch of road and don't see any cars. You turn around, look down another stretch, and still don't see any cars. So you turn back to your original viewpoint and suddenly there's a freaking traffic-jam, cars everywhere. I was hoping the next-gen version of GTA would expand the distance cars appear, but such is not the case. Ultimately, this means it's pointless to look around and see if any cops are around before stealing a car, as the second you turn your attention to the window, you have no idea what has suddenly materialized behind you.

The man has valid points all over the place. After finishing the main story of the game, there is little point to keep playing the game.

Left 4 Dead - Preview

As some of my very few readers may know, I have an epic hard on for all things zombie. Movies, books, games. Doesn't matter. I eat that shit up. My infatuation with the genre started after seeing Night of the Living Dead when I was kid and has only grown over the years. The Resident Evil series has provided a decent filler for my gaming needs, though game companies seem to avoid the zombie genre more often than not. Dead Rising is a very excellent attempt of a free-form zombie game but left me wanting more. More as in, cooperative game play. A group of survivors playing together and working together to survive against the horde of undead. A few years back, the RE series tried it with their Outbreak series on the PS2, which I never got to play but I heard was not that well done. According to the wiki page, Capcom shut down its multiplayer servers some time ago. Either way, it was the step I was hoping a zombie game would take.

About a year ago or so, I heard about Left 4 Dead and instantly added it to my gamer radar. The idea is basic enough, but it is also what I have been hoping for. The game is all about the cooperative play. You pick the role of one of four survivors, join up with the other three and together you must make it through 5 different maps to beat the scenario. According to various interviews over at Gametrailers.com these scenarios will take about an hour to finish, but no promises that all of the four players will be alive at the end. Its so damned sexy, I can't begin to describe it. Not only will you be playing with a small group, you are also able to play as the big nasty bosses. Four types of bigger, nastier and vicious zombies with special powers and their only purpose is to ruin the day of the survivors.

What makes this even hotter, though, is the GM AI the developer is putting in the game. The entire purpose is to make sure that no two games are ever played exactly the same way. This GM AI will spawn zombies at random places, at random times and in random numbers. One play through may have you facing a horde coming from inside a house and the next, the house is empty and you have to face a horde coming in. It sounds sweet and looks sweet from the gameplay videos in the above link. It is also stated that friendly fire is active and varying in the amount of damage done based on the difficulty, so watching your fire is going to be a key to surviving a rushing horde of undead. The entire idea is that at no point are you, or your fellow survivors, safe. It also keys on team work. Rushing off on your own and expecting to survive is a bad idea. There are trackers put into the game so you know who you can trust based on previous play. Someone is all about team killing? You can boot em. Find someone who heals alot but maybe shoots you to often? Tough choice. In a gamer world filled with douche bags, jack asses and fucktards, you have to wonder how often you will find players who hurt your chances of survival rather than help.

So I will keep my eye on this game over the coming months. release dates have been pushed back a few times and right now the best time is "some day in 2008", which is great but we still have a good chunk of 2008 to get through. Of course, I would rather wait longer for a polished version than play it now when its not done.

Grand Theft Auto IV

Rockstar is at it again. Their big time title has a follow up that has a lot of hype to live up to. The game has been out nearly two weeks now and a lot of people have beaten it, spoilers are abound and the cheat codes are out there. You won't find any of that here.

Like the previous GTA games, the world is large and you have the freedom to go where ever and do what ever you want. This time, instead of a reformed gangbanger in the 90s or a small crook in the 80s, Rockstar brings you to the modern day, or something like it. You play as Niko Bellic, former solider, people smuggler and now illegal immigrant in New Yo...er Liberty City. You are fresh off the boat, with the American dream in the front of your mind and your cousins emails of penthouses, fast cars and faster women swimming through your head. The reality of the situation quickly reveals itself and you embark on a quest to make it big in America.

There have been some major changes since GTA: San Andreas. The driving is the most obvious. No longer can you hit the e-brake and slide around corners. Going fast is almost not worth the risk of the big wreak you will get into. Many call the driving more realistic and while I have no idea if it is, it is harder. Combat as gotten a small upgrade with the auto targeting system and with some practice, you can take on a number of baddies with the auto targeting system. You also have the benefit of cover. A lot of cover in fact. Almost everything in the game can be used as effective cover and it is helpful. I have found, though, that the auto target gets iffy when the heat rises up and things can get away from you really quickly.

The biggest change, in my mind, is the cops. The LCPD will be all over you after two stars and it gets worse and worse from there. In the previous versions of the game, part of the fun was pissing off the cops and having an extended fire fight with them till you jacked a tank and went on a rampage. I havent messed with the cops long enough to see if tanks are even an option anymore. It is very very difficult to survive in the early stages of the game against a 4 star rating due to limited weapons. Even when you have access to the full compliment of weapons, its hard. Cops will swarm you, shooting away with accuracy and no concern for the amount of ammo they pump into you. One example of their eagerness to fuck your world up is this. I snagged a 4 star rating and had cops all over me. I had armor, ammo and I was in an ally with only one way in. Cops rushed me and caught me reloading, rifle butted me to the face and three or four of them unloaded shot guns into me. They don't fuck around.

Rockstar also removed some of the "RPG" elements that were in GTA: S.A. No more working out, being forced to eat, changing hair styles and so forth. There are different clothes but beyond the need for a suit in some missions, you could stay in the same clothes you start with and be fine. Sure, if you go on dates you will get insulted but as far as I could tell, it didnt affect how the date went.

While GTA: S.A. was MASSIVE in scale, GTA IV has shrunk things down. You do have the entirety of New Yor...I mean Liberty City to run around in, you are limited to the areas you can go to till they open up. This does limit the amount of places you are free to roam about for a good portion of the game but once it does open up, it can take some time to get from one side of the city to the other. Thankfully, there are a shit load of taxis you can hire to take you to where you want to go instantly, though it costs extra. The traffic in the city does make this option very attractive later in the game when money is not a concern.

While GTA IV loses all of the wide open spaces from GTA: S.A. the story telling, characters and over all plot has been improved. The characters, from the main character to bit players, are flushed out. It was said that missions would change every time you did them in some preview I read but that is not the case. Maybe the order in which you do some missions will change things but the actual mission goals do not change, only the conversations while you are driving around.

There are friendships and dating in GTA IV, some what like GTA: S.A. Each friendship you develop will have its bonus. One will get you free taxi rides, one will get you discounted weapons. I have ignored the dating side of the game but the one relationship I did build up gives me the ability to call her up and lose my wanted level, which is bad ass. Maybe once I finish the game and go into free roam, I will see what else is out there, but if you do not mind spending the time on dates and friendships, some of the bonuses are worth the time. The gun one is for sure, as is the losing your wanted level.

There is, as always, a shit load of stuff to keep you occupied in Liberty City. From dating, random missions for friends, playing mini-games (such as pool, bowling and darts), going to shows, comedy acts and even getting wasted. All of these cost you a little money and each of them is part of building your friendships or girlfriends. Some friends only want to do certain things, so try and remember who likes to do what. I am sure when you do the things they want, you earn their friendship faster. There are, still, the vigilante missions and so forth from previous games though they are abit more in depth than before.

So thats about it with out going into story details. The graphics are great, the sounds are well done. Liberty City feels like a real city and its always busy. You will not become bored while playing the game, though frustration with the driving and auto targeting may lead to nearly throwing your controller through the tv. The auto save, though, is frequent enough so you do not fall behind in the game should you turn off the console in anger.

Just don't piss off the cops.